The Past Success, turned Failure Story

I think it might be important for anybody who read my first post and saw that I'd admitted to being successful on the Cambridge Weight Plan before, to understand why I am back at stage 1 all over again. Actually, people probably won't give a flying f*ck, but I'm going to put it here if only to remind myself not to do it again. Back in September 2008, my house mate and I started (after many false starts) the plan on Sole Source. I stayed on this part of the plan for 10 weeks until I lost over 40lbs and reached a healthy BMI. I remember how important it was that my house mate and I be allowed to enjoy Christmas. I remember that we'd talked to our CDW councillor and we moved onto the 810 plan for two weeks, then the 1000 plan, and the 1200 plan, each for two weeks. We only managed a few days of 1500 before Christmas, but it didn't matter because we were still losing weight! We managed to be healthy over Christmas. We should have been happy with ourselves, but I wanted to lose more weight - I wanted to reach my lowest healthy weight and I was still about a stone and a half away from that. After Christmas we consumed all of the stuff we'd brought for the holiday and had a last hurrah (the last blow out meal) before the restart. Except we failed to get back into the habit of limiting our food intake. A pattern quickly emerged where we'd decide to restart the diet and have a last hurrah before failing to get back on the wagon. It seemed to take no time at all to regain everything, although my house mate has managed to keep 20lbs off from her original starting weight. I'm back at my largest with a vengeance. We thought that going vegan would help us to lose weight, but apparently replacing meat with meat replacements and cheese with soya cheese isn't the way to do it - who knew? We also discovered a lot of food that is actually vegan, and we found some places that made vegan cake! It's amazing how I can walk past chocolate bars, sweets and all manner of foods that I used to love, with my nose turned up, simply because it isn't vegan. I wish there was the same urge with foods that aren't healthy.
Anyway, understand that this diet isn't about just giving up cake - this diet is about giving up everything but protein and vegetables. My food addiction is bread and potatoes; I absolutely love them. I don't need to butter my bread roll and eat them with a filling - I am happier having it completely plain. And I love jacket potatoes (HUGE ones that have been in the oven for hours so that the skin is really thick and hard to eat, but even better for it, and the flesh is fluffy and mixed with huge amounts of margarine) or mash (mixed with just margarine and not milk so that it tastes coarse on the tongue). I haven't eaten potatoes in 12 days. I have, however, eaten bread rolls. Bread rolls are my comfort food, even though I know that they're against the plan. When I did this diet before, I didn't eat bread. I didn't even have milk in my coffee (I am currently taking soya milk). I can't remember what week it was, but the one thing I fantasised about was a plain and simple apple. All I wanted to do was flick my tongue against the skin of a juicy, sweet apple, and then feel my teeth break the surface as the juice erupted over my tongue. I wouldn't eat an apple until I reached the 1000 plan, but it was something I started fantasising about quite early on.
I also didn't touch alcohol. I had my first drink on Christmas Day. I missed being able to enjoy a drink when I came home from work, or when I socialised (which wasn't often thanks to my job). I haven't drunk in 12 days - I don't miss it, surprisingly.

I looked at the information for the plans for the first time this evening. I am actually really surprised to find that I'm remembering doing the diet all wrong. The 1000 plan incorporates 2 Cambridge meal replacements, to be drunk alongside a normal-ish breakfast and lunch, followed by a healthy dinner. I think I've been doing a very, very bad version of the 810 plan. A shake for breakfast, one for lunch and then food in the evening, washed down with a litre of fruit juice. I'm gong to have to sit down with my house mate and re-evaluate what we're doing. It might be a good idea to call our diet counsellor for advice too. I'll worry about it in the morning.